So I am a walking wardrobe malfunction today.

I think my brain shut itself off and laughed it's ass off at me while dressing this morning.
As my wife was dropping me off at the ferry, I'm getting out of the van and realize that I have left my cell phone home. Strike 1.

So ok, I can live for a day without a cell phone. I'm reading my book on the ferry and it occurs to me that something feels a little different on my body. I for some reason feel like my bra is not doing it's job properly. So I discreetly reach in to adjust my strap only to realize that I have not actually put on a bra at all today. Strike 2.
How does this happen??? I've been wearing a bra pretty much every day of my life for the last 15 years and today, my brain says "Let my boobies go!"

But the bra is apparently NOT the kicker here. I go to the bathroom once I get to work and when I go to zip up my fly, I realize that the zipper has done that retarded thing where you think it's working properly but what should be closed is really not. So I have to have a fight with my fly in the ladies room. I actually utter "Are you KIDDING me?!?" out loud. Thank god I was alone. Strike 3.

And on that note, I'm going home.